Adventures with Baby H- Stay at Home Dog Mom

I’ve spent most of my summer lounging around the house, snuggling my pup, crafting, and simply enjoying doing whatever I want, whenever I want. Several times I’ve been told to enjoy myself because once baby man comes I won’t have this time anymore. I think I may be taking it to the extreme.

There is a dog park about 15 minutes from our house- it’s the best way to wear out our doberman. Paisley and I have made several trips to the park so she can enjoy some time running with other pups. Last summer I was “invited” to join the group that meets there at 9 every morning. The dogs play and their owners sit and chat. I wasn’t quite ready for that commitment and honestly, didn’t quite know how to answer the invitation. For a second I felt Paisley and I had been accepted. I quickly snapped out of that, nodded, smiled and thanked them for the nice gesture.

As I was sitting and observing the different life at the dog park this past week I realized I was going to be doing the same type of thing with a human next summer (not at the dog park but an actual park or play group). Crazy! While observing the dog parents and remembering my invitation from last summer, I realized that dog parents at the dog park aren’t much different than human parents at the human park.

The Know It All: This owner could tell you the time of day a dog arrives at the park, the dog’s breed, if the dog is friendly or well behaved and knows every dog’s name. If he doesn’t know the dog’s name, he is definitely not afraid to ask. Very nice gesture. It starts to get a little weird when he bends down to the dogs level and starts talking in dog voice. After this greeting,  he then finds it acceptable to refer to your dog as if it’s his.

The Phone User: Usually this dog parent is so attached to their phone that they completely miss their dog being a total punk. I mean I know they are just dogs but we aren’t running a dog fighting ring, control your crazy pooch. Also, taking mass amounts of pictures of your dog with all the other dogs is a little much. I don’t want to happen to run across a picture of my pooch on social media.

The Over-Active Dog: This poor owner spends their entire time at the dog park apologizing for their super cute pup who enjoys saying hi…five times…to everyone who enters the park. This pup is usually pretty vocal and goes non-stop the entire time he there.
*Side note- This is probably going to be my human. Over-active, chatty, running around like a fool all.the.time. I’m hoping if I start mentally preparing myself for this now, it will be easier to deal with when the time comes.

The Bully Dog: “Oh, how cute, he’s playing with the dog 5x smaller than him.” “He loves to wrestle.” “He just gets soo excited to be here.” Um, no. How about we accept that your dog is about to start up that dog fighting ring we were talking about earlier? Not cute. Your dog is a brute. No one likes brutes.

The Rookie: No words need to be spoken from this poor person’s mouth. We don’t need to hear “this is our first time” to be able to tell that yes, it sure is. The overwhelmed look and short stay totally give you away. The bag of treats in your pocket doesn’t help either. We don’t have to even see this bag. It’s quite obvious what’s hiding in your jacket pocket when you are surrounded by ten dogs who are just staring at you, drooling. Bless your soul, we’ve all been the rookie.

The Continual Trainer: There is usually a large remote in the owner’s hand and they make loud obnoxious noises while they think their dog is listening to them. In all reality, the dog is chasing birds and comes back once they realize they have no chance of actually catching said bird. Of course, the dog gets praised for coming back. Everyone else can see what this dog parent didn’t see. This dog may listen well eventually, but he is going to do what he wants until then.
*My human will probably do this one, too.

Ok, last one.

The Poop Denier– This dog parent will clearly see their dog start the pre-poop shuffle (circling backwards) and decide to turn the other way or strike up a conversation in order to ignore that their dog is dropping a steamer. Therefore, not having to pick up the mess their dog left behind for others.

I’m sure all you mommas of humans can relate at least one of these to an experience you’ve had taking your child to the park for a play date. I can’t wait to join the club next summer.

Props to the husband for adding some of the dog park parent types out there that my pregnant brain couldn’t think of. 🙂 Here’s a picture of my loner dog enjoying her time at the park.20140723-091724.jpg

 

Next update: Sam and I’s experience in baby classes. We are definitely not good at quiet, serious events. Laughter ensues which turns into quietly snorting, trying to hold back some gas from the Taco Bell you thought was a good idea to eat before class.

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New Kids On the Block

Today one of my students said to me, “My mom saw you outside your house doing yard work!”. In a matter of five seconds I had several thoughts run through my head. Oh my gosh did she see me when I was wearing my bathing suit top and shorts? Please, no. No, Andrea, you don’t mow the grass! You don’t even know how to start the lawn mower. You don’t even live in this city. That was back in the summer when you did that. She doesn’t know where you live. So I politely responded with, “I don’t mow the grass. It must have been someone that looked like me.” Good response. My brain keeps going…Who does yard work in a bathing suit top and shorts? That just really isn’t necessary for the neighbors to see. In my defense, it was before our wedding so I was getting my tan on but I just could not have tan lines from a t-shirt while wearing a wedding dress.

Anyway, this got me thinking. What else do people see that may be a little weird? We have talked to our neighbors on both sides of our house but other than that it is a really quiet neighborhood. We don’t see many people outside much. Do they see us? Is that why we don’t see them? Do they hide when we come out? I have no clue why they would hide when they see us, we are nice people…

  • The bounce house.- We came home one day  and to our surprise found a real life, ginormous, bounce house in our backyard. Normal? No. Fun? Unbelievably. Long story short: At the time one of our friends worked at a place that rented out bounce houses. Our friends had the idea to put one in our backyard for a little excitement. After several grown adults bounced around and laughed hysterically until our stomachs hurt, we rolled out of the bounce house (literally). I looked over and saw our neighbor found the bounce house in our backyard (Duh, how could she not?) and just witnessed our adventure. “Sorry!! We’re just having a little fun!” Thankfully, she enjoyed our bounce house and encouraged the antics.
  • The doberman and the lawn tractor.- One day this summer the hubs was mowing the yard and I decided to join him to do some yard work in the front yard. I brought our dog out and I tied her up with a 30 foot leash (which is really made for horses) from one of the poles of our work bench. I should probably go back to the part about the lawn tractor. Sam calls this 20 year old, ghetto, white trash looking, lawn mower..a lawn tractor. Not only do I have a 80 pound doberman tied up to the workbench but I have a husband mowing the yard on a lawn tractor that could break down at any time. Classy.
  • The silhouettes behind the curtains.- We don’t have blinds on our front window, only curtains. I love our chevron curtains and think the neighbors should also get the chance to enjoy them. It didn’t occur to me until a couple days ago that when the lights are on inside and it’s dark out, you can see silhouettes of the people inside. Any given night the neighbors could see me practicing my self-taught karate skills, conducting an orchestra in a lively song, or random dog toys being thrown through the air a thousand times (Paisley could play fetch/tug for days). You’re welcome, neighbs, for the entertainment.
  • The rollerblading.- We had a genius idea one night to dust off the roller blades and see if we still had it. We put our roller-blades on, went outside and tested our skills. It wasn’t long before Sam suggested I stay near the grass just in case my stilts of legs decided to stop working, I could just fall into the grass. Smart, smart man. I’m not all that coordinated with these lanky arms and legs of mine. After a little practice, Sam was climbing our hill and blading down the middle of the road like there hadn’t been 15 years since his last blading session. As I was sitting in the grass, waiting for him to come down the hill one last time one of our neighbors spotted me and called out, “Not as easy as it used to be?”. Dead on sir!

…We have a welcoming front porch, a homemade, season-insprired wreath hanging on the front door, and a “welcome” sign in the flowerbed. I mean, why wouldn’t the neighbors want to talk to us? 🙂